Monday, June 8, 2009

I'm fading, I'm fading

I'm a big fan of David Sedaris. I share the dysfunctional upbringing but not the fame and fortune it bequeathed Mr. Sedaris.

His remark from this interview in the Times about turning 50 resonated with me. Becoming invisible as you get older takes some getting used to. And I never considered that it might be easier the more "deep into invisibility" you are.

Rupert Everett, another older gay icon, told the Daily Telegraph, "Unfortunately, I am single, yes, but I'm too exhausted for anything else and being gay is a young man's game."

"Now no one wants me," Everett said. "Being gay and being a woman has one big thing in common, which is that we both become invisible after the age of 42. Who wants a gay 50-year-old? No one let me tell you."

When Rupert says it, it just sounds so much more tragic.

Like Casper, perhaps we're just visible to our friends and to those who aren't afraid.

I am what I am: David Sedaris

David Sedaris 52, is an American author. His latest book, When You Are
Engulfed in Flames, is out now. He lives between London, Paris and Normandy
with his artist boyfriend, Hugh Hamrick

- It was hard to turn 50. Maybe because I don’t have kids — perhaps being able
to think “Well, I’m 50, but I have a grandchild” makes it easier. You just
become invisible — people stop looking at you. Once you’re deep into
invisibility, it probably doesn’t bother you. But that first period is

David Sedaris

- Hugh and I have been together for 18 or something years. What’s our secret?
Hugh never listens to a word I say. He has no idea who I am! And, after
you’ve been together for a certain time, you can have a bad year, but that
doesn’t mean it won’t turn good again. It has a lot to do with expectations.

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  1. Great! Two and a half more years of visibility for me! Ummm... Make that, Yikes! :)

  2. There's always comfort in knowing that you are forever visible to your loved ones, however, being "invisible" makes flirting really hard!

    It's probably what I miss the most. (I know, that is soooo shallow.)


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