Friday, August 13, 2010

Remembrances of Ray's Past

August is birthday month.  
The constellation of Leo
I tend to be a little reflective - OK, moody in August.
Even more so than New Years, I find birthdays to be an occasion that demands personal stock taking.
If you're over fifty and the shelves are a bit bare, this exercise can be very depressing.
So I dig into my past and gather whatever fuel I can to power me forward.
I thought I'd share some of my thoughts with you.

If I could visit the  child that I was,
What would I say to him?
"Remember the splendor of Christmas lights and the splash of water at the sea.
Lose yourself in imaginary games of unicorns and princes
Creativity will be your sword and these memories, your shield."

If I could visit the boy that I was,
What would I say to him?
"You're world is not Lewis and Pearl.  It is much, much bigger.
Be proud of where you come from.
You are a love-child, not a bastard - Shame traps the soul, pride gives it wings.

If I could visit the young man that I was,
What would I say to him?
"Know the difference between self respect and narcism, it's the difference between worth and price.
Don't search for yourself in other's eyes, in other's spaces.
Be comfortable in your own shoes; wearing others will give you blisters."

If I could visit myself as the man I was,
What would I say to him?
"Write your own story. Life's not a sitcom; it doesn't go into summer repeats.
Take ownership of who you are and share that with those you love.
Be proud of the miracles you created. They will be your legacy."

And I say to myself now:
"Know that you are loved; that you make a difference.
As the pages turn and the final chapter approaches, be sure to write a happy ending.
And don't forget your sword and shield."

I was a teen when I would listen to this song over and over again on my portable cassette player (with carrying strap - from Eatons).  Being totally "Emo" I would  look up at the night sky and try to imagine what my life would be like if only...  

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