If I could turn back time....

I've been delving a lot into my past recently and feeling somewhat guilty about it.  There is no shortage of advice that keeps saying the same thing:  keep your eyes on the road - you can't move forward if you keep looking backward.

But I admit it, as I get older, I find some comfort in looking back. There is a sort of security that comes from obsessing on moments in your past that happen  before you were responsible for the decisions you made.  Also, there's the exercise of trying to figure out what the hell I did  to deserve this. (Ok, I'm just noticing how many song cues I have in this article.)

In my family, waning nostalgic was like squirting lighter fluid on a bonfire.  After a few Mooseheads, someone would bring up some old story of real or imagined betrayal and soon the Moosehead bottles would become missiles.  My family kept things pretty simple - no rememberin' when you're drinkin'.

I know, regrets are futile and "would haves" and "could haves" only lead to the futility of self absorption and navel - gazing; which is not as fun as "naval" gazing. (cue gratuitous photo).

But Edith Piaf aside, how do you not regret?  Surely there have been turns in the road that you wished you would have taken.  What if?

I know that I can't go back and "Turn Back Time", but is it too late to turn around and re-visit that  fork in the road?

And that's where I find myself today - more mature, less idealistic and very much more honest about who I am.  As I continue to dig deeper inside me to find that kernel of what Ray is, I can only hope that I'm not reaching for my walker when the epiphany strikes.

All the experiences in my life have brought me to this place. Yep, there were some very bad ones; personal losses, professional disappointments and health issues;  I continue to heal and learn from those.  From all the good things that happened in my life; my family, my friends, my accomplishments - they provide the salve and validation to continue moving forward.

So now, as I approach my sixth decade on earth, I am embarking on a new career.  I'm not sure if I will succeed and that's totally OK because just doing this without safety net is completely new for me.  Taking a chance and not looking back is something I haven't done since my twenties when I believed I could do anything. That was before I wrote a completely different script for myself than the one I had imagined while watching classic movies and TV variety shows.

I might not be able to turn back time, but I can make the most of the time that I still have - to make the most of me.

Cities: Making a place for people

As a Montrealer I am used to negotiating around and through city traffic dodging drivers (especially taxis!) like a game of Pac Man. So I found this posting from Richard Florida (Creative Class) to be very interesting.

I'm currently reading his latest book, Who's Your City? and find his take on urban planning to be refreshing in its focus on creativity, culture and successful cities.

This is an interesting piece from the New York Times that describes a German experiment in making an urban suburb nearly car-free. One thing that I had noticed while reading the article and looking at the photos was that this didn’t look like the kind of suburb I’m familiar with, either here or in Ontario, (as in Burlington or Mississauga). That’s probably why it works. The reason is density, in having services conveniently located to be within easy walking or cycling distance.

VAUBAN, Germany — Residents of this upscale community are suburban pioneers, going where few soccer moms or commuting executives have ever gone before: they have given up their cars.
Street parking, driveways and home garages are generally forbidden in this experimental new district on the outskirts of Freiburg, near the French and Swiss borders. Vauban’s streets are completely “car-free” — except the main thoroughfare, where the tram to downtown Freiburg runs, and a few streets on one edge of the community. Car ownership is allowed, but there are only two places to park — large garages at the edge of the development, where a car-owner buys a space, for $40,000, along with a home.
As a result, 70 percent of Vauban’s families do not own cars, and 57 percent sold a car to move here. “When I had a car I was always tense. I’m much happier this way,” said Heidrun Walter, a media trainer and mother of two, as she walked verdant streets where the swish of bicycles and the chatter of wandering children drown out the occasional distant motor.

Read the New York Times article here: Nearly Car Free